Inside this issue:
- CROSSOVER Week PREVIEWS
- A Really Juicy
POWER POLL
- An "Enhanced"
WEATHER REPORT
- A RANSOM Note, a
RAINBOW and Other Magical Stuff!
Heads Up!
First, this week is a little
screwy because we've
scheduled some games
that had been rained out
recently, AND this week is
also a
CROSSOVER week
-- in which some Wednesday
teams and Thursday teams
will square off against one
another. What this means is
that SOME teams will
be playing on both Wednesday
AND Thursday. So
check
the schedule carefully
to see if your team plays on
both nights. (Note: Some
teams don't even play at all
this week.)
While we're at it, here's
another heads-up.
Watch
out for SOFTBALLS.
A DCKickball player already
has been knocked in the
noggin by an errant softball
this season. The player is
fine, but we shouldn't let
our guard down.
Keep your eyes open and yell
"INCOMING!"
when you see a softball
heading into kickball
territory. When you hear the
word "INCOMING!" you might
want to just go ahead and
cover your head
instead of looking up to see
where the ball is coming
from -- otherwise, you might
get smacked square on the
forehead. (Note: You can
yell the old-fashioned
"HEADS UP!" if you want to.
But in our experience, some
people (some rookies) take
it too literally and start
craning their necks around
to look for the ball. And
then SMACK!)
There are first-aid
kits in the
equipment bags. So if
someone does end up getting
hit by a softball, you might
want to consider use of the
ice pack. And -- as always
-- if needs be, call 9-1-1.
Kickball: a safe alternative
to other base-running
sports.
Results from Last Week
DC Detention (forfeit)
over Kick-Ass Ballers
Afternoon Delight 3, Got
Balls 2
Thick Femur 14, Here for
the Beer 0
AA-Team 7, Bad News
Barristers 5
Big Kids 12, Seconds
from Disaster 2
YTBD 3, Recess
Appointments 0
Your Mom's Team 5, Team
Lush 3
Lunchbox KC 1, Red
Rovers 0
Weather Report
This week's Weather
Report been compiled by Special
Correspondent Shorty J, aka Yo
Mama's Weather Girl. ...
A husband and his
wife were sound asleep when suddenly
the phone rang. The husband picked
up the phone and said, "Hello? ...
How the heck do I know? What do I
look like? A weatherman?" He then
slammed the phone down and settled
into bed.
"Who was that?"
asked his wife.
"I don't know. It
was some guy who wanted to know if
the coast was clear."
OK. Enough
guffaws. On to the forecast!
Wednesday -- A high
of 77
degrees and a low of
56 degrees.
Sunny.
Maximum
humidity: 39
percent. Projected sunset: 8:21 p.m.
Thursday
-- A high of
84 degrees
and a low of 69 degrees.
Isolated thunderstorms
(30-percent chance). Maximum
humidity: 49 percent. Projected
sunset: 8:22 p.m.
NOTE: Your
board of directors will post rainout notices
on the
website by 5 p.m. on game days.
If you check the site and there's no notice
of a rainout, that means that the GAMES ARE
ON! So head to the fields and weather be
damned! And even if the weather IS ugly,
remember that we always still go to
the bar no matter what.
The Washington
Monument looking like a giant rainbow
compass.
This Week's Games!
Where do we play? You
can find a map of the
fields at
http://dckickball.org/capital/PermitMap.pdf.
Each week, just head to good ol' No. 3 to
find out exactly where you will be
playing. The wagering line has been drawn by
Capital's very own BOOKIE -- JP. (Please, no
actual wagers. Lines are for entertainment
purposes only.) Pickers again this week are
"Lawn Mower Man" Eric L., Hilary
"HardCore" G., and "ScottPockets."
WEDNESDAY, MAY 24
Thick Femur (-7) vs.
Yet To Be Determined
6:30 p.m.
Field A
Umps: Got Balls,
Seconds from Disaster
Thick Femur is locked into a shut-out/no
shut-out/shut-out pattern -- which means
that this week TF will
not
shut out YTBD. It's crazy of us to suggest
that the tables will turn -- that YTBD will
be the ones to shut out Thick Femur. But
crazier things have happened along
Constitution Avenue. Note that YTBD has not
lost a game yet. Thick Femur has, though. So
it's time for a reckoning of some sort.
LMM: TF
HC: TF
SP: TF
AA-Team (-3)
vs.
Recess Appointments
6:30 p.m.
Field B
Umps: Bad News
Barristers, Lunchbox KC
The winless Recess
Appointments have one thing going for them
this week: The AA-Team is getting pretty
cocky. After two solid wins and only one
loss, AA-T is starting to pity fools. But
they'll need to sport mohawks and thick
chains before we believe the sincerity of
their pity. Until then, we're placing our
faith in some fancy footwork by RA this
week. We've seen them play. They got skills.
They just need to turn 'em on.
Got Balls (-1)
vs.
Seconds from Disaster
7:15 p.m.
Field A
Umps: Thick Femur, Tey to
be Determined
What do you get when you
cross Got Balls and Seconds from Disaster?
Seconds from Balls -- which sounds pretty
disastrous to us. But wait. There is a light
at the end of the rainbow. Each team is
winless. So that means that one team WILL
walk away with a win this week ... unless
they tie, which is a distinct possibility.
What could be more disastrous?
LMM: GB
Bad News Barristers
vs.
Lunchbox KC
(-3)
7:15 p.m.
Field B
Umps: AA Team,
Recess Appointments
Newsflash: The "KC" in
"Lunchbox KC" stands for (or used to stand
for) "Kickball Club" -- which leads us to
believe that there's some sort of secret
handshake or a tree house involved here.
What does that forebode for the Barristers?
Not much. We just thought we point out that
the Barristers are probably going to get
CLUBBED this week. If there's any silver
lining in this match-up, it's that LKC has
the decency not to bunt -- or at least they
didn't bunt last week against the Rovers. So
if nothing else, BNB will get the chance to
play kickball as it was meant to be enjoyed:
with balls that are actually kicked, not
bunted.
LMM: BNB
The bone "gets it"?
Gets what?
THURSDAY, MAY 25
Yet To Be Determined vs.
Big Kids (-5)
6:30 p.m.
Field A
Umps: YMT, RR
Two of the top three
Thursday teams will be at each other's
throats this week -- which is preferable to
being "at" other body parts on a hot and
sweaty kickball evening. (We guess it
depends on who you ask.) Regardless, expect
the Big Kids to fight fiercely to keep their
high position in the standings. That
fierceness could breed frenzy, which will
leave open some opportunities for YTBD to
score big.
LMM: BK
Seconds from Disaster vs.
Recess Appointments
(-2)
6:30 p.m.
Field B
Umps: LKC, TL
Both of these teams have
games on Wednesday and Thursday this week.
Let's hope by then that one of them has a
win under their belts. As of right now, both
teams are winless. By Thursday, a lot could
change. Both teams could be buoyed by
first-victory highs from Wednesday, or both
teams could find themselves entering the
game still winless -- with nowhere to go but
up. Either way, it sounds like a serious
rumble in the making to us.
Your Mom's Team (-4)
vs.
Red Rovers
7:15 p.m.
Field A
Umps: YTBD, BK
Your Mom's Team bunts. In
fact, they munt. (That is, they man-bunt.)
And when you man-bunt, there are no winners
-- only losers. And when everyone's a loser,
everyone drinks to forget their sorrows and
lift their souls. ... So maybe man-bunting
is not such a bad idea after all.
Lunchbox KC (-2)
vs.
Team
Lush
7:15 p.m.
Field B
Umps: SfD, RA
Whether these two
teams will actually meet on the field
this week is a matter that is still up
in the air. We hear that LKC includes
many members of the Soul Patrol. So if
Taylor Hicks wins "American Idol,"
expect to see a lot of pink shirts flee
DC and head to Hollywood for a parade or
something. Of course, if Hicks wins
"American Idol," member's of TL's Drunk
Patrol also have an action plan:
drinking themselves into a stupor. So it
looks like this game ain't gonna happen.
