Everybody
Scores!
DCKickball
Capital
Conference
Week
Eight: July 12-13, 2006
Inside
this issue:
-
MORE Kickball Goodness
- A
Powerless POWER POLL
- A Lusty WEATHER Report
- Previews for This Week's MATCH-UPS
- Plus
Adult Content, Violence and Brief Nudity
Can
You Still Kick?
Oh, it's good to be back! (And
here's hoping the weather cooperates this week.)
Yes, we haven't played
kickball in forever, but we still have A
LOT OF KICKBALL LEFT TO PLAY. So get
psyched. Get amped. Get pumped. Get jazzed. Get
whatever you need to get to be ready for kickball
this week -- because IT'S BACK, BABY! IT'S
BACK! (Baby back.)
So THIS
WEEK is a NORMAL WEEK.
And NEXT
WEEK (July 19-20) we will MAKE
UP the games that got rained out a
couple of weeks ago. So stay pumped/jazzed for
next week.
And THEN we head into the PLAYOFFS
the week of July
26-27. So there's still a fair
amount of kickball left to be played! The fun
continues! Stick around!
Still kickin' it.
Party,
Anyone?
Did you save Aug.
5 on your calendar yet? That's when we're
planning to have our super-mega-awesome END-OF-SEASON
PARTY. Aug. 5 will also be the day of
the finals and championship
game. Stay tuned for more details!
This
week's Weather Report been compiled by Special
Correspondent Shorty J, aka Yo Mama's Weather Girl.
Top
3 Signs That You Are Having Kickball
Withdrawal ...
3.
You feel the need to watch as much baseball
(the closest thing to kickball) on TV as
possible. You become confused by the small
white ball.
2.
You get this great idea that you can go to the
local elementary school around recess time and
think you can play. Then you remember its
summertime.
And the No.
1 sign that you are having
kickball withdrawal: You go to work with your
kickball T-shirt on the day you normally play.
Everyone stares at you and you don't know why.
Enough silliness. On to the
not-so-wonderful weather report!
Wednesday:
A low of 77 degrees and a high of 90
degrees. Scattered
thunderstorms (60-percent chance). Maximum
humidity: 65 percent. Projected sunset: 8:34
p.m.
Thursday:
A low of 73 degrees and a high of 91
degrees. Scattered
thunderstorms (50-percent chance). Maximum
humidity: 67 percent. Projected sunset: 8:34
p.m.
NOTE:
Your board of directors will post rainout notices on
the website
by 5 p.m. on game days. If you check the site and
there's no notice of a rainout, that means that the GAMES ARE
ON! So head to the fields and weather be damned! And even if
the weather IS ugly, remember that we always
still go to the bar no matter what.
This
Week's Match-Ups!
The wagering
line has been drawn by Capital's very own BOOKIE -- JP.
(Please, no actual wagers. Lines, which have been formulated by
JP Himself, are for entertainment
purposes only.) Pickers this week are Hilary "HardCore"
G., JP the Bookie-Man and
"ScottPockets."
WEDNESDAY,
JULY 12
Got
Balls vs. AA-Team
(-3)
6:30
p.m.
Field
A
Umps:
DCD, TF
AA-Team sometimes has trouble getting players to show up.
Could that mean a forfeit this week? If so, Got Balls
might finally get the win they crave!
JP: AAT
Afternoon
Delight vs. Bad
News Barristers (-4)
Field
B
Umps:
KB, HftB
We've often wondered who would win in a battle between puke
green and kelly green. Guess we will find out on
Wednesday.
JP:
AD
DC
Detention vs. Thick
Femur (-2)
7:15
p.m.
Field
A
Umps:
GB, AAT
We just found out what a femur is. Turns out it's not a
long-tailed primate after all. Suddenly the team is less
scary. That diminished scariness should work to DCD's
advantage this week. Dizzying pitching skills by DCD could
be a challenge for TF's traditionally strong
bunt-it/boom-it strategy.
JP:
TF
Kick-Ass
Ballers (-4) vs. Here
for the Beer
7:15
p.m.
Field
B
Umps:
AD, BNB
Is there any doubt as to which one
of these teams is more into kickball and which one is
more into beer? The names alone ought to tell you
who's gonna win this game. Do we even need to make a
prediction?
JP: HftB
HC: HftB
SP: KB
Muggin' before runnin'.
THURSDAY,
JULY 13
Red
Rovers vs. Team
Lush (-1)
6:30
p.m.
Field
A
Umps:
RA, BK
Last
year, the Rovers allegedly punked Team Lush by allegedly
suggesting that the two teams allegedly play their game
while allegedly wearing togas over their uniforms (or
instead of their uniforms). The Rovers allegedly showed
up dressed normally in their kickball uniforms, while the
Lushies allegedly showed up looking sillier than usual in
their alleged togas. When asked about the allegations, Rover
Captain Scott T. said, "I not only deny the allegations.
I deny the allegator!" Tensions between these two teams
remain high. Ought to make for an interesting game.
JP:
TL
HC: TL
SP: RR
GAME
OF THE WEEK
Lunchbox
KC (-1) vs. Your
Mom's Team
6:30
p.m.
Field
B
Umps:
YTBD, SfD
We'll
make a bold prediction here and suggest that this match-up
just might be the Game of the Week. Why? Both teams are ranked
high -- and for good reason. When they're on, they're on. LKC
and YMT can play near flawless kickball when they put their
minds to it. So who has the better chance? The team that
is less rusty after a few weeks of not playing kickball.
JP:
YMT
HC:
YMT
SP:
LKC
Recess
Appointments vs. Big Kids (-5)
Field
A
Umps:
RR, TL
The
Recess Appointments and the Red Rovers are the only two teams
that stand between the Big Kids and an undefeated
(pre-playoff) season. (Just don't stand between the Big Kids
and an open bar. That's suicide.) The good news for the
Appointments is that it's just kickball. But if RA really
wants to win, we suggest they set up an open bar on the
sidelines. (Libational distraction is the key to beating the
Big Kids.)
JP:
BK
Yet
To Be Determined (-3)
vs.
Seconds
from Disaster
7:15
p.m.
Field B
Umps:
LKC, YMT
This match-up has our vote for most
passionate game of the week. SfD is essentially a
cheerleading squad that plays kickball. Seriously, have you
heard these guys cheering each other on during games? The
spirit-lifting and encouragement is nonstop. YTBD meanwhile
is prone to unrivaled bursts of epic enthusiasm -- going
from zero to 60 in no time flat. To get more passion than
you'll find in this game, you'd have to subscribe to the
Spice channel.
JP: YTBD
The Power Poll means absolutely
nothing. Don't take it seriously. If you take it
seriously, you will be forced to validate our feelings.
Actually, this isn't even
the Power Poll this week. No panel of experts
was polled for the following list. Instead,
we're just going to straight up list the standings
-- based on wins, losses and ties. (The Power
Poll usually reflects other (often less
tangible) factors such as general athleticism,
play-making abilities, strength of schedule,
bar antics, crushes, bribes, political
motives, vendettas, and thrown darts.) So
here are the standings.
1. Big
Kids
2. Lunchbox
KC
3. Kick-Ass
Ballers
4. Thick
Femur
5. Your
Mom's Team
6. Team
Lush
7. Seconds
from Disaster
8. Yet
To Be Determined
9. DC
Detention
10. AA-Team
11. Bad
News Barristers
12. Afternoon
Delight
13. Here
for the Beer
14. Recess
Appointments
15. Red
Rovers
16. Got
Balls
A truly monumental
sport.
Etc.
***
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***
Got something to sell? Need a roommate? Want
to confess a secret crush? Everybody
Scores! welcomes your announcements in the Kickball
Classifieds. DCKickballers may submit noncommercial
announcements at no charge. Send announcements to LSTillett@yahoo.com.
***
Everybody Scores! also
welcomes your written or photographic contributions.
Send your stuff to LSTillett@yahoo.com.
***
Complaints? ... It's just kickball? And this
is just a crummy kickball newsletter. What would you possibly
complain about? ... Oh, maybe the Power Poll. Talk to JP about
that. He loves to get e-mail. His address is JP@ctam.com.
Complaints of a more generic nature may be sent to Scott at LSTillett@yahoo.com
***
This
week's Everybody Scores! has been
brought to you by ...
Your
Capital Conference Board of Directors and other random people.
Don't believe anything you have read in this newsletter. It is
loaded with fabrications, embellishments, and nitrates.
***Everybody
Scores!***
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