Everybody
Scores!
DCKickball
Capital
Conference
Week
Nine: July 19-20, 2006
Inside
this issue:
- A Sizzling WEATHER Report
- Previews for This Week's MATCH-UPS
- Plus
Heat, Humidity, and Ozone
Two
More Weeks and Then Some
This week, we will be playing
games that were postponed due to weather a few
weeks ago.
NEXT
WEEK, we head into the PLAYOFFS.
And all teams in the division should qualify to
play in the playoffs. So it looks like everyone
will be playing at least two more games. Those who
advance in Round One of the playoffs next week
obviously will move on and keep playing kickball
until they are eliminated.
The FINALS and
the CHAMPIONSHIP game are
scheduled for SATURDAY, AUGUST 5.
That's also the date of our END-OF-SEASON
PARTY. Keep your calendars open! More to
come!
Doin' da Butt?
Red Rovers 5, Team Lush 5
Your Mom's Team 7, Lunchbox KC 1
Big Kids 6, Recess Appointments 3
YTBD 5, Seconds from Disaster 4
Games canceled due to lightning:
Got Balls vs. AA-Team
Afternoon Delight vs. Bad News
Barristers
DC Detention vs. Thick Femur
Kick-Ass Ballers vs. Here for the Beer
Weather
Report
This
week's Weather Report been compiled by Special
Correspondent Shorty J, aka Yo Mama's Weather Girl.
What would it be like to play kickball in Kaktovik,
Alaska? Let's imagine it, if
possible. ...
* During the summer, the temperature is at an
average of 45
degrees. You might even end up
saying, "I played kickball during July
and there was snow on the ground."
* The sun stays up for 24 hours during the
summer. That means more kickball and never
having to worry about lack of light.
* Of course, there is a negative to
playing kickball in Kaktovik, Alaska: Polar
bears might want to join in on the game. That
could get ugly.
Okay enough Arctic day-dreaming! Here's your
weather report. ...
Wednesday:
A low of 75 degrees and a high of 88
degrees. Scattered
thunderstorms (40-percent chance). Maximum
humidity: 70 percent. Projected sunset: 8:30
p.m.
Thursday:
A low of 76 degrees and a high of 90
degrees. Isolated
thunderstorms (30-percent chance). Maximum
humidity: 72 percent. Projected sunset: 8:30
p.m.
NOTE:
Your board of directors will post rainout notices on
the website
by 5 p.m. on game days. If you check the site and
there's no notice of a rainout, that means that the GAMES ARE
ON! So head to the fields and weather be damned! And even if
the weather IS ugly, remember that we always
still go to the bar no matter what.
This
Week's Match-Ups!
The wagering
line has been drawn by Capital's very own BOOKIE -- JP.
(Please, no actual wagers. Lines, which have been formulated by
JP Himself, are for entertainment
purposes only.) Pickers this week are "Lawn Mower
Man" Eric L., Hilary "HardCore"
G., and "ScottPockets."
WEDNESDAY,
JULY 19
Here
for the Beer vs. AA-Team
(pick 'em)
6:30
p.m.
Field
A
Umps:
BNB, TF
Here for the Beer's guys were extremely happy to learn
that the team name of their opponents this week has
nothing to do with bra sizes. Here for
the Beer's ladies, interested in learning more about their
opponents' men, were distressed when they heard the same
news.
LMM: AAT
Kick-Ass
Ballers (-4) vs. Got
Balls
Field
B
Umps:
AD, DCD
Possibly the season's most vulgar team-name match-up, it
appears there will be all kinds of anatomy
you can't show on TV being kicked and gotten. Please, for
the good of all involved, wear a cup!
LMM:
KB
Bad
News Barristers vs. Thick
Femur (-6)
7:15
p.m.
Field
A
Umps:
HftB, AAT
Femur plans to be careful this week; they know that if they
talk too much smack, they could be sued for
slander, libel, and defamation of character. The Barristers
are still looking for their game strategy; it's lost in a
big stack of legal pads at the moment.
LMM:
TF
Afternoon
Delight vs. DC
Detention (-4)
7:15
p.m.
Field
B
Umps:
KB, GB
Two great tastes that taste great together: lime green
and mandarin orange. Too bad there's already a game
called the Citrus Bowl. And too bad
DCD's Amy's once-a-season Jell-O-shots-in-orange-rinds
event has been and gone.
LMM: AD
HC: DCD
SP: DCD
Your mom plays kickball.
THURSDAY,
JULY 20
Recess
Appointments vs. Team
Lush (-3)
6:30
p.m.
Field
A
Umps:
BK, RR
The
Appointments already have a major media
campaign under way for this game. Looks like the American
people, not the judges, will decide this one.
Seconds
from Disaster vs. Lunchbox KC (-2)
6:30
p.m.
Field
B
Umps:
YTBD, YMT
The
Seconds are like a team of Jack Russell terriers; they have
tons of energy and make a lot of noise. Lunchbox is like
a team of bulldogs; they have quite a nasty bite and they
slobber a lot. So we suggest a wager: The
losers get spayed ... or neutered.
LMM:
LKC
HC:
SfD
SP:
SfD
Big
Kids (-4) vs. Red
Rovers
Field
A
Umps:
RA, TL
What's
more annoying than hearing the Big Kids chant "Undefeated!...
Undefeated!" each week as if they are re-enacting a scene
from a Corey Haim movie or something? ... Getting beaten
by the Rovers, that's what. (Just ask DCD.) Seriously, a
Rover team did beat the Big Kids in an unofficial pre-season
mini-tournament this year, so we know that the Kids are not
made of steel. Don't believe us? Just shoot one of
them in the eye and see what happens.
LMM:
BK
Yet
To Be Determined vs. Your
Mom's Team (-2)
7:15
p.m.
Field B
Umps:
SfD, LKC
The two "Y" teams finally meet
up this week. And you know what they say when you have
two Y's together: They say it means your mom is a dude! ...
[Crickets.] ... OK, so maybe chromosomal humor doesn't go
over so well with this crowd. ... ANYway, both teams
have gotten more and more competitive as
the season progresses. So it's probably a good thing the
season is winding down. Look for tears of joy and tears of
sorrow at the bar this week.
LMM: YTBD
As we enter the last week
of the regular season and prepare for the
playoffs, here's a look at the standings,
which are just about as ludicrous as a Power
Poll. (Seriously, who let the Big Kids win so
many games? What a cruel joke.)
1. Big
Kids
2. Lunchbox KC
3. Your
Mom's Team
4t. Kick-Ass
Ballers
4t. Thick Femur
7. Team
Lush
8. Seconds
from Disaster
9. DC
Detention
10. AA-Team
11. Bad
News Barristers
12t. Afternoon
Delight
12t. Here
for the Beer
14t. Recess
Appointments
14t. Red Rovers
16. Got
Balls
Etc.
***
If you do not want to receive e-mail messages
and important reminders from DCKickball and the Capital
Conference, you are very very foolish and will be left in the
dark on a lot of important matters. Regardless, you may log
in to your account at www.dckickball.org
and change your e-mail preferences. Still, we strongly advise
against it.
***
Got something to sell? Need a roommate? Want
to confess a secret crush? Everybody
Scores! welcomes your announcements in the Kickball
Classifieds. DCKickballers may submit noncommercial
announcements at no charge. Send announcements to LSTillett@yahoo.com.
***
Everybody Scores! also
welcomes your written or photographic contributions.
Send your stuff to LSTillett@yahoo.com.
***
This
week's Everybody Scores! has been
brought to you by ...
Your
Capital Conference Board of Directors and the voices inside
your head. Don't believe anything you have read in this
newsletter. It is loaded with fabrications, embellishments,
and sawdust.
***Everybody
Scores!***
|
