Everybody Scores!
DCKickball
Capital Conference
Playoffs, Second Round: Aug. 2-3, 2006
Inside this issue:
- PARTY PARTY PARTY Details!
- Quarter-final Match-up Previews
- A Blistering WEATHER Report
- Plus Blood, Sweat, Toil, and Tears
End-of-Season PARTY THIS SATURDAY
HOLLYWOOD NIGHTS
is the theme of this year's
END-OF-SEASON MEGA-PARTY,
being held
THIS SATURDAY,
Aug. 5, at R.F.D. in Chinatown.
(You guessed it. It's all about
HOLLYWOOD, baby!)
So come dressed in your
red-carpet finest. Pick your
favorite celebrity and emulate him/her
all night long. Or come dressed as your
favorite movie character. Anything goes!
Dress to
impress OR impersonate!
What: The Capital
Conference End-of-Season Party and
Awards Extravaganza
When: THIS SATURDAY,
August 5 -- open bar begins at 9 p.m.
Where: R.F.D. (810 7th
St. NW, Washington, DC -- near the
Chinatown Metro)
How Much: $5 for
players; $20 for guests
Tell your limo driver that we'll unfurl
the red carpet in front of R.F.D.'s
private rear entrance on 8th
Street around 8:45 p.m. After
some pre-party mugging for the cameras
(as well as an ID check),
you can stroll on through the doors at
9:00 p.m. and begin the
celebration!
OPEN BAR
will run from
9:00 p.m. till 1
a.m. and include rail
liquor as well as Miller Lite and Sam
Adams draught. There will be two bars to
serve you.
Want more? OK. There also will be plenty
of DANCING
plus an
AWARDS ceremony at 11:00
p.m., during which we will officially
present the winner of the playoffs with
the
Capital Conference Championship Cup
(aka The
People's Cup). And when
you get tired of dancing, you can steal
away to the large outdoor
covered courtyard, where you
and your entourage can chill out and
enjoy the fresh air.
And after the open bar closes, the fun
ain't done. The
AFTER-PARTY
runs
from 1:00
to 2:30 a.m., with $3
specials on Miller Lite and Sam Adams.
This END-OF-SEASON BASH
will be one to remember! Anyone's who's
anyone
is going to be there. ... So be there!
[Note: We will have a list of registered
players at the door. The name
on your ID
must match the name on our list.]
See you on August 5th!
Party time! Get down!
The Heat Is On: Playoffs
Continue!
Sixteen teams have been whittled down to
eight teams. Now those eight teams must
endure nearly unbearable
heat
as they compete to move on to Saturday's
semi-finals and championship game.
For those playing this week, we are
going to press onward and deal with the
heat. Yes, it's frikkin' hot. But that's
what happens when the globe warms. And
now is as good a time as any to adapt to
global warming. (Either we adjust
and tolerate the heat or we stay indoors
and let summer kickball go extinct.)
Adapting to the heat
will mean: drinking plenty of
water -- but not so much as to
overhydrate (see link: http://tinyurl.com/ph8l6);
staying in the shade
when possible; wearing sunblock,
especially when the sun is near its
zenith; and being mindful not
to over-exert yourself. (In
other words, know when to take a break.)
Also, if you bring pets to the games,
make sure they have plenty of water.
PERSONAL-RESPONSIBILITY REMINDER: No
one is obligated to play. If you
can't stand the heat, stay out of
the game. It's up to each player to
decide for him/herself how much heat
he/she can tolerate.
Carter knows that drinking plenty of
liquids is key to beating the heat.
The Path to Glory
Some lucky team will win
three games this week.
Here's how it will unfold.
Playoffs this week will
consist of two games on
Wednesday
and two games on
Thursday.
The eight teams playing on
those days will be reduced
to four teams. Then those
final four teams will play
on
Saturday to
determine the two teams that
will compete for The
People's Cup. And then those
two teams will IMMEDIATELY
go head to head for the
championship. That's right.
Two teams on Saturday each
will be playing two games --
a semi-final game and then a
final. Again, staying
hydrated and staying cool
will be top personal
priorities.
Note: Even if your team has been
eliminated, throw on your T-shirt and
come out to watch the games and
then go to the Ugly Mug for
post-game drink and food specials. Just
don't go too wild on Saturday afternoon.
You'll need to save some energy for the
END-OF-SEASON PARTY.
You can view the playoff bracket at the
following URL.
Who's
a pretty princess?
Results from Round One
Big Kids 4, Got
Balls 1
Lunchbox KC 4,
Recess
Appointments 2
Your Mom's Team
1, Here for the
Beer 0
Team Lush 1, Red
Rovers 0
Thick Femur
(forfeit) over
Afternoon
Delight
Bad News
Barristers 4,
Kick-Ass Ballers
0
YTBD 2, Seconds
from Disaster 1
DC Detention 6,
AA-Team 2
Blue and Pink
united.
Weather Report
This week's Weather
Report been compiled by Special Correspondent Shorty
J, aka Yo Mama's Weather Girl.
Wednesday:
A low of 82 degrees and a
high of 99
degrees.
Mostly sunny. 20-percent
chance of precipitation.
Maximum humidity: 54
percent. Projected sunset:
8:18 p.m.
Thursday:
A low of 81degrees and a
high of 101
degrees.
Partly cloudy. 20-percent
chance of precipitation.
Maximum humidity: 55
percent. Projected sunset:
8:17 p.m.
Saturday:
A low of 75 degrees and
a high of 87
degrees.
Isolated
thunderstorms
(30-percent chance).
Maximum humidity: 68
percent.
NOTE: Your board
of directors will post rainout notices on the
website by 5 p.m. on game days. If you check
the site and there's no notice of a rainout, that means that
the GAMES ARE ON! So head to the fields and weather be
damned! And even if the weather IS ugly, remember that we
always still go to the bar no matter what.
Rrrrrrrr.
This Week's Match-Ups!
The wagering line has been drawn
by Capital's very own BOOKIE -- JP. (Please, no actual
wagers. Lines, which have been formulated by
JP Himself, are for entertainment purposes only.)
Pickers this week are "Lawn Mower Man" Eric L., Hilary
"HardCore" G., and "ScottPockets."
WEDNESDAY, AUG. 2
Big Kids (-2) vs.
DC Detention
6:30 p.m.
Field A
Umps: TF, TL
The old death-metal rumors are
false. Alice Cooper didn't do it. Neither did Ozzy Osbourne.
And neither does Big Kids co-captain JP. That's right.
Contrary to popular belief, JP does NOT throw a live
puppy into the middle of the team huddle before
games. ... It's actually a kitten. And DC Detention LOVES
kittens. So expect DCD to fight this battle like a kitten's
life depended on it. If DCD has been saving a vintage
bottle of kick-&ss, now is the time to
uncork it.
LMM: BK
HC: BK
Thick Femur (-5) vs.
Team Lush
7:15 p.m.
Field A
Umps: BK, DCD
What do you get when you cross
Thick Femur's plastic bone with Lush's inflatable pig? ...
Hambone! (Slappity-slap-slap-slap!) ... All mocking aside,
we look forward to the beauty inherent in a good
old-fashioned Thick-Lush match-up. For TF, it's all about
bunt-bunt-kick. For TL, it's all about kick-kick-bunt. It's
like a game of tic-tac-toe or chess.
(Seriously, what's the difference?) You can usually tell
within the first few moves who's gonna win the thing. Sure,
the spread is -5 in favor of Thick Femur, but that figure
does not take into account factors such as, ya know,
real math. It's really anybody's ballgame.
LMM: TF
HC: TF
Spin
doctor.
THURSDAY, AUG. 3
Lunchbox KC
(-1)
vs.
Yet To Be Determined
6:30 p.m.
Field A
Umps: YMT, BNB
Vim-and-Vigor Alert! We haven't
checked IDs or anything, but we surmise that these two teams
combined have the lowest average player age among all the
playoff match-ups. What does that mean? Well, for one thing,
unlike the other playoff teams, these whipper-snappers
are less likely to worry about heat stroke and arthritis and
getting home in time to watch "Golden Girls" reruns on
Lifetime -- meaning that they will have
more mental energy to devote to kickball. On the down
side, unlike other playoff teams, these whipper-snappers
can't wet their Depends and just carry on with the game.
They have to take actual bathroom breaks if they need them.
And nothing ruins a good game like a pee-pee trot to the
ranger station.
LMM: LKC
HC: YTBD
SP: LKC
Your Mom's Team (-6)
vs. Bad
News Barristers
7:15 p.m.
Field A
Umps: LKC, YTBD
This "Your Mom's a Barrister" game could
be one for the ages. Both teams clearly have gotten better
and better as the season progressed. Anyone who saw BNB's
first game of the season, in which the Kick-Ass Ballers beat
them 2-1, can attest to the improvement. Among all surviving
playoff teams, BNB ranks lowest in regular-season standings.
So there's your David. Meanwhile, YMT,
after an up-and-down start to the season, managed to go the
final four weeks of the regular season without suffering a
loss. So there's your Goliath. But beating
YMT will take more than some smooth stones from the Potomac.
BNB's gonna need some boulders and a catapult for this one.
LMM:
BNB
HC:
YMT
SP: YMT
Flag kickball?
Etc.
*** If you do not want to receive
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*** Everybody
Scores! also welcomes your written or photographic
contributions. Send your stuff to
LSTillett@yahoo.com.
*** Complaints? ... It's just kickball.
And this is just a crummy kickball newsletter. What would
you possibly complain about? Send e-mail to Scott at
LSTillett@yahoo.com
***
This week's Everybody Scores!
has been brought to you by ...
Your Capital Conference Board of Directors and a singing
frog. Don't believe anything you have read in this
newsletter. It is loaded with fabrications, embellishments,
and excess fluid.
***Everybody Scores!***
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