That Was The Week That Was Week 4(a)

DCKickball Capital Conference

May 26, 2006

If this column sucks ... it's not my fault. I'm still waiting to hear about Wayne Rooney's metatarsal.

Good morning Capital, and WELCOME to the "it's all coming into focus" edition of That Was The Week That Was. This was quite a week of kickball, we had a bunch of close games on Wednesday followed by some amazing games on Thursday. Thank you to all the teams, players, and captains who made this week of kickball so memorable.

Okay, let's get right to the good stuff. THIS WEEK'S RESULTS:

YTBD 3, Thick Femur 1
AA-Team 2, Recess Appts. 1
Seconds from Disaster 1, Got Balls 0 
Lunchbox KC 3, Bad News Barristers 2 
Big Kids 2, YTBD 1 
Seconds from Disaster 6, Recess Appts. 3
Lunchbox KC 6, Team Lush 2
Your Mom's Team 4, Red Rovers 0


Which makes THE STANDINGS look like this:

Lunchbox KC 4 0 0 
Big Kids 3 0 0 
Yet To Be Determined 3 1 0 
AA-Team 3 1 0 
DC Detention 2 1 0 
Your Mom's Team 2 1 0 
Afternoon Delight 2 1 0 
Kick-Ass Ballers 2 1 0 
Thick Femur 2 2 0 
Seconds From Disaster 2 2 0 
Team Lush 1 2 0 
Here for the Beer 1 2 0 
Bad News Barristers 1 3 0 
Red Rovers 0 3 0 
Recess Appointments 0 4 0 
Got Balls 0 4 0 

Expanded standings can be found here: http://dckickball.org/capital/standings.htm


MARK YOUR CALENDARS

You've been waiting for this announcement, so here it goes... The First Annual CAPITAL CONFERENCE POLKAPOLOOZA AND MICHAEL JACKSON IMPERSONATION CONTEST (aka the midseason party) will be taking place on SATURDAY, JUNE 3 at a venue to be announced. There will be drinks! There will be merriment! There will be kickball hotties showered and dressed to the nines! why on EARTH would you miss such an event? Stay tuned for more details coming soon.


NEXT WEEK

After next Thursday, all teams will be even, having played four games. We are OFF as a league on Wednesday, but THURSDAY we have the following games scheduled:

June 1
6:30 Games
DC Detention vs. Your Mom's Team
Afternoon Delight vs. Team Lush
7:15 Games
Kickass Ballers vs. Red Rovers
Here for the Beer vs. Big Kids


GAME OF THE WEEK

Wednesday seemed to have the closer battles this week, and it's hard to choose just one to be the GOTW, but for this week let's give the kudos to the LUNCHBOX - BARRISTERS slugfest over on Field B. The 3-2 margin was razors-edge to be sure, but the fact that there were all kinds of bodies flying and collisions and general mayhem and violence made this game stand out from all the others. Well done too both teams!


TEAM OF THE WEEK

You know, SECONDS FROM DISASTER may not be the best kickball team in the conference, but it sure looks like they're having the most fun out there. They came into this week 0-2 and not pleased with their position in the league (and one of them even DARED to challenge the validity of the much-beloved Power Poll) and emerged 2-2 after winning both of their games. And they did it all in afro wigs, Rasta hats, a guy in a half-shirt cut up to look like chaps (don't ask), and a lot of screaming and yelling on the sidelines. We won't mention here that NONE of them went to the bar EITHER night, but OOPS! I SCREWED UP THERE, DIDN'T I? AH WELL, CAT MEET BAG.


"OFF THE SCHNEID" OF THE WEEK

Congratulations to the RECESS APPOINTMENTS, who scored their first-ever run this week on Wednesday, and followed it up by scoring three more on Thursday. Yeah, they didn't win either game, but SO WHAT? MY COLUMN, MY RULES. The Red Rovers, who have scored but two runs all season, are now the schneid residents.


"SPIRIT OF KICKBALL" OF THE WEEK

Got Balls is so interested in getting better that they have scheduled a PRACTICE game for next Wednesday. Is there another team who would like to scrimmage with them? Email Earl Crane with the DCKickball login.


WEIRD STAT OF THE WEEK

AA-Team have been outscored by their opponents 17-15 and are in fourth place. Thick Femur have outscored their opponents 30-6 and are in 9th.


PLAY OF THE WEEK

A strange bare-feet-and glass accident last weekend rendered Your Mom's Team's STEVE a four-toed monster, but there he was, first on the sideline, then playing catcher, and then coming up to kick with two runners on base against the Red Rovers. What does the man with the bones sticking out of his skin do? He thunders a three-run home run to give his team the margin of victory in their game. He rumbled around the bases like Kirk Gibson with a hernia, but we salute the effort!


"GET DRESSED" OF THE WEEK

Too many players have been hitting the fields without their DCKickball t-shirts. Of course, this week with teams playing two games, we'll let things slide, but hey, let's remember our t-shirts for the rest of the season please? Mushy grashass.


QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Bad News Barrister Catcher RACHEL remarked, just after a foul ball buzzed past her cheek, "I'm a model. Keep it away from my face." There's a really crude joke in there about models and balls and faces but I'm not gonna say it.

Is she actually a model? Come out and watch Wednesday kickball and judge for yourself.


"WHA - WHA HAPPEN" OF THE WEEK

Wednesday night was SPARSELY attended at the Ugly Mug after that night's games, and three teams (AA-Team, Seconds from Disaster, and YTBD) had NO ONE at the bar AT ALL. If anyone tells me it has anything to do with the finales of Lost and/or American Idol, someone's in some real trouble. REAL trouble.


CRYSTAL PITCHER UPDATE

Let's give some love to the THURSDAY teams, who flooded the Ugly Mug with revelrous kickballers and made the waitstaff very happy. Special commendation goes to TEAM LUSH and my beloved BIG KIDS, who arrived early, stayed late, and made a hell of a lot of noise. YTBD made up for not showing up Wednesday night by ruling the flip cup tables in the back, and there were impressive numbers by the RED ROVERS and RECESS APPOINTMENTS as well.

Okay, you've been taking too much time off of work to read this, so get back to work, SLACKER. We wish everyone in kickball a very happy and SAFE holiday weekend. Take care of yourselves and we'll see you back on the Fields of Glory next week.

Questions? Comments? Unspeakable outrage? jp@ctam.com or AIM: jaypea99

John "JP" Powers
Co-Captain, Big Kids
President, Capital Conference
DCKickball

***That Was The Week That Was Week veir-a***