That Was The Week That Was Week 4(b)

DCKickball Capital Conference

June 2, 2006

If this column sucks ... it's not my fault. I'm still grieving because Shiloh Pitt is going to be called "Pile o' Shit" for her entire childhood.

Good morning Capital, and WELCOME to the "we're all caught up now" edition of That Was The Week That Was. Our conference's wings were clipped this week as we only played four games (three really), but we now have the whole division evened up. Everyone's played four games and there's no more shuffling needed at the moment. HUZZAH!


Okay, let's get right to the good stuff. THIS WEEK'S RESULTS:

DC Detention 2, Your Mom's Team 2
Team Lush (forfeit) over Afternoon Delight
Kickass Ballers 1, Red Rovers 0
Big Kids 1, Here for the Beer 0


Which makes THE STANDINGS look like this:

Big Kids 4 0 0
Lunchbox KC 4 0 0
Yet To Be Determined 3 1 0
Kick-Ass Ballers 3 1 0
AA-Team 3 1 0
DC Detention 2 1 1
Your Mom's Team 2 1 1
Thick Femur 2 2 0
Afternoon Delight 2 2 0
Team Lush 2 2 0
Seconds From Disaster 2 2 0
Bad News Barristers 1 3 0
Here for the Beer 1 3 0
Red Rovers 0 4 0
Recess Appointments 0 4 0
Got Balls 0 4 0

Expanded standings can be found here: http://dckickball.org/capital/standings.htm



IN CASE YOU MISSED IT EARLIER THIS WEEK

Start clearing your calendar NOW for SATURDAY, JUNE 24 when the Capital Conference will throw it's first annual MECHANICAL BULL RIDING AND LINE DANCING CONTEST (aka the MIDSEASON SMASH) at UNION PUB. There will be THREE HOURS OF OPEN BAR. There will be DRINKING ON THE PATIO. There will be PHONE NUMBERS EXCHANGED. If there's ONE thing we will bring to this new DCKickball adventure this season, it's the legendary Capital parties. You rookie teams have NO idea what you're in for.

Union Pub is located at 201 Massachusetts Avenue NE, a short walk from Union Station and very easy to get to. Don't miss this first big chance to blow the roof off the joint!



GAME OF THE WEEK

You know, there must be some magic fertilizer down on the Constitution Avenue field. Thick Femur engineered a five-run two-out last-inning playoff comeback down there, for example. The last two weeks have seen some colossal battles down there, and last night's DC DETENTION - YOUR MOM'S TEAM game was no exception. DCD took a 2-0 lead in the top of the first inning, and held it until the bottom of the last, when YMT staged a furious rally to equalize. Congrats to both teams for a fantastic game.



PLAY OF THE WEEK

Speaking of the Constitution Avenue field, my beloved BIG KIDS were clinging to a 1-0 lead in the fourth inning when HERE FOR THE BEER finally advanced a runner to second base. A perfectly placed kick into left field dropped at the feet of the Big Kids' RUSS, who had trouble gathering it in. H4B's runner rounded third with a full head of steam and looked bound to score, but one step before she could cross home, the ball ricocheted off her ankle, thanks to a brilliant relay back into the infield from RUSS to the pitcher EJ. Shutout preserved.



"WTF" OF THE WEEK

Calling all kickballers who play for Novak Druce + Quigg, you all are really missing a great kickball season here! Please, you're really letting your teammates down by not showing up to play, and AFTERNOON DELIGHT's fortunes are really suffering for it. There's a good kickball team waiting to bust out here, and believe me, it's a lot easier to play a game when you have enough players!



WEIRD STAT OF THE WEEK

The Kickass Ballers have scored six runs this season, and they're tied for third place.



PHOTO OF THE WEEK aka the "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE" OF THE WEEK


Thanks to DCD's DYNAMIKE, who entitled this little masterpiece LUSH GOGGLES.



SWAG OF THE WEEK / RANT OF THE WEEK

Last night at the Mug, lots of people picked up snappy Sierra Nevada hats and t-shirts and flipped cups with Sierra Nevada Blond Ale cups. Nice! We didn't know there was a promo going on. The downside? To get the stuff, you had to actually order and drink a Sierra Nevada. Personally, I'd rather drink the drippings from a wet vac and I AM a beer snob. When's NEWCASTLE going to do a promo with hot ladies preening in cute little cowboy hats? Okay, back to TWTWTW, already in progress.



QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Honestly? We didn't pick up anything newsworthy this time out. Got a good one? Email me and we'll include it next week. Promise.



CRYSTAL PITCHER UPDATE

For years, our version of kickball has been like a mullet. Business in front (Wednesday), party in back (Thursday). So we have been watching these crossover weeks very carefully. Last night was EXPLOSIVE at the Mug, as each team tried to out-do each other for madness, and many Wednesday teams got into the mix. Let's give shout-outs to the KICKASS BALLERS for painting the flip cup room teal, to DC DETENTION for painting the front of the bar orange, to the RED ROVERS, HERE FOR THE BEER and YOUR MOM'S TEAM for coming out in impressive numbers, and to the BIG KIDS and LUSH who were the last ones in the bar. Lush has been uncorking thunderous versions of their "Us in Lush" cheer lately, too. What a great night! Can't wait to see the pictures that don't have inflatable pigs in them.


Okay friends, that's going to do it for this week. Get back to work, SLACKER! Have a great weekend and we'll see you back on the Fields of Glory next week! EVERYONE's in action next week, no more of this holiday crossover relaxing crap. BE READY TO PLAY!

Questions? Comments? Unspeakable outrage? jp@ctam.com or AIM: jaypea99

John "JP" Powers
Co-Captain, Big Kids
President, Capital Conference
DCKickball

***That Was The Week That Was Week shee-a***