 That
Was The Week That Was Week 5
DCKickball Capital Conference
June 9, 2006
If
this column sucks ...
it's not my fault. I'm trying to shovel this out the door so
I can get to see the World Cup opener.
Good morning Capital, and WELCOME to the "ooh,
sprinklers, pretty" edition of That Was The Week That Was.
If ever we needed evidence that our kickball league is
playing with the Park Service's blessing, we saw the entire
Washington Monument Grounds being maintained, watered, and
blocked off... EXCEPT our fields. We had to chase off
some softballers, and we got chased off of one field by some
frisbee players, but we were lucky enough to be able to play
all eight of our games with minimal shifting, all things
considered. THANK YOU to all the teams who came out and
played a great week of kickball!
Okay, let's get right to the good stuff. THIS
WEEK'S RESULTS:
Big Kids 1, Team Lush 0
Seconds from Disaster 3, Your Mom's Team 2
Recess Appts 10, Red Rovers 3
Lunchbox KC 1. YTBD 0
Thick Femur 6, AA-Team 0
Bad News Barristers 9, Here for the Beer 4
DC Detention 4, Got Balls 0
Kickass Ballers 8, Afternoon Delight 4
Which makes THE
STANDINGS
look like this:
Big Kids 5 0 0
Lunchbox KC 5 0 0
Kick-Ass Ballers 4 1 0
DC Detention 3 1 1
Thick Femur 3 2 0
Yet To Be Determined 3 2 0
Seconds From Disaster 3 2 0
AA-Team 3 2 0
Your Mom's Team 2 2 1
Team Lush 2 3 0
Bad News Barristers 2 3 0
Afternoon Delight 2 3 0
Recess Appointments 1 4 0
Here for the Beer 1 4 0
Red Rovers 0 5 0
Got Balls 0 5 0
Expanded standings can be found here: http://dckickball.org/capital/standings.htm
HEY, LOOK AT THIS, WE'RE GOING TO
ANNOUNCE IT AGAIN!
SATURDAY, JUNE 24, your Capital Conference Social Committee will throw it's first annual
BODY PIERCING AND MOHAWK SHAVING FESTIVAL (aka the MIDSEASON
SMASH) at UNION PUB. Don't miss
it!
A $10 cover gets you three hours of open bar and all the
kickball hotties you can stand. How can you go wrong?
Union Pub is located at
201 Massachusetts Avenue NE, a short walk from Union Station
and very easy to get to. Please use public transportation,
this is an open bar event, people!
OH BOY, AWESOME! WHAT A DEAL! OH, RIGHT... "TOTS?" AH,
IT'S STILL WORTH IT.
Speaking of June 24... As we all know, the Ugly Mug is
located across the street from the Marine Barracks. As we
all also know, the US Marines are the driving force behind
the Toys for Tots campaign. Pre-party at the Ugly Mug on
June 24, bring a new unwrapped toy or make a $10 donation to
this worthy cause, and receive a complimentary drink (limit
2). All proceeds benefit Toys for Tots, and this event will
go on all day on Saturday the 24th.
GAME OF THE WEEK
Whenever my beloved BIG KIDS and TEAM LUSH face off in the
annual renewal of hostilities known as The Friendliest
Rivalry In All Of Kickball, all hell breaks loose, and last
night was no exception. Both teams played stellar defense
for four and a half innings, keeping the other team off the
scoreboard, until the Big Kids loaded the bases with one out
in the bottom of the last and pushed the final run across on
a sacrifice. Well done to both teams!
DEEEEEEEEEEFENSE
It took a few weeks for everyone to get settled in, but
suddenly runs are becoming hard to come by. Four of the
games this week were won by shutout, two of them by a 1-0
score.
PLAY OF THE
WEEK
AKA the "anything you can do, I can do better" of the week.
We'll cite two plays from the YTBD-LUNCHBOX KC clash this
time out, especially since they came in consecutive
half-innings. First, YTBD made a spectacular double play by
snaring a fly ball, tagging second base, then flinging the
ball to third for a tag out to end one Lunchbox threat, then
in the next inning Lunchbox's pitcher made a great play of
his own, snaring a line drive fly ball and slinging the ball
to first to double-up a runner who was just steps off the
base. Well done!
Honorable mention goes to Afternoon Delight's BIG STEVE, who
slammed a home run so far that the ball came down with a
vapor trail behind it, and to Team Lush's REBECCA and DARRYL
for a bobbled tandem catch to quell a Big Kid threat. Jerks.
TEAM CHEER OF
THE WEEK
It was definitely Ladies Night on the DC DETENTION sideline
this week, as great play after great play was made by a
number of testosterone-challenged members of their team.
After the game, their team cheer? "WE GOT GIRL!"
TEAM OF THE
WEEK
AKA this week's "off the schneid" of the week -
Congratulations to the RECESS APPOINTMENTS, who got their
first-ever kickball win last night, overwhelming the Red
Rovers along the way. We could hear the hollering clear as a
bell on the other field, it was great to hear such
enthusiasm!
SPEAKING OF
TEAMS WHO SCORED MORE RUNS IN ONE GAME THAN THEY HAD ALL
YEAR
The KICK-ASS BALLERS put up nine runs in their game this
week after having scored five all year to this point, and
now sit alone in third place.
"WILL WONDERS NEVER CEASE" OF THE
WEEK
AFTERNOON DELIGHT actually fielded a full squad this week.
Wow, they had substitutes, even!
WEIRD STAT OF THE WEEK
An interesting pattern is forming with THICK FEMUR this
year. In odd-numbered weeks (Weeks 1, 3, and 5), they are
3-0 and have outscored their opponents 33-0. Even-numbered
weeks? 0-2 and outscored 6-3. Afternoon Delight, you are on
the clock for Week 6.
MUST BE THE WIG. OR THE CHAPS. OR
THE FUNNY HATS. OR THE TUBE SOCKS.
SECONDS FROM DISASTER are becoming... dare we say it?
Dangerous. They won their third straight Thursday night,
improved their record to 3-2 and are tied for fifth place.
Now, if ONLY they would go to the damn BAR.
"CULT OF PERSONALITY" OF THE WEEK
Rumor has it that AA-Team DOES go to the bar from time to
time, but evidently they don't like to be there without
co-captain ELISSA. She stuck around to line ref Wednesday
night and arrived to find a mere smattering of teammates in
the flip cup room.
LAUREN PINSON, CO-CAPTAIN OF HERE
FOR THE BEER, DID NOT TELL ME TO SAY THIS, I SWEAR SHE
DIDN'T, OH WELL, OF COURSE SHE DID
In the first case of using TWTWTW to trash talk flip cup,
Here for the Beer walloped DC Detention in flip cup in the
front of the Ugly Mug Wednesday night.
"SPIRIT OF KICKBALL" OF THE WEEK
Speaking of DCD playing flip cup, in the back room Wednesday
night, DCD's BRIAN slipped, or maybe passed out from the
pressure, we're not sure, and hit the deck, sending a table
flying and breaking a glass. BUT THE GAME NEVER
STOPPED. That's dedication!
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
The back room was 50-50 softballers and kickballers early on
last night. One table was playing flip cup, the other
wasn't. Wanna guess which was which? Anyway, the ROVERS'
AARON TOUSSAINT JEANGUENAT remarked "Softballers are
sipping, kickballers are flipping."
Honorable mention for QOTW goes to the Rovers co-cap SCOTT,
who was desperately trying to spell Aaron's name correctly
so I could get it for the quote, and ended up saying "I
dunno, there's a whole bunch of French sh*t in there."
WORLD CUP WATCHING VENUE OF THE
WEEK
BOOYAKASHA! Our favorite sponsor bar is also home of the
world's biggest sporting event!
Make The Ugly Mug you World Cup headquarters! Opening at
9:00 a.m. during the tournament, all games will be televised
on our plasma televisions. Brunch will be served and we will
have daily food and drink specials. Call 202-547-UGLY for
additional information.
CRYSTAL PITCHER UPDATE
Okay, it's time to stop playing this part of TWTWTW like
"everyone gets a trophy day" and start pointing out clear
facts so captains can start thinking seriously about their
votes. So here's what we saw this week:
--As usual, DC Detention brought the most people to the bar
on Wednesday night, stayed later, and had two, maybe three
flip cup teams playing at the same time.
--The back room Wednesday night was full of kickballers
eating dinner until the Kick-ass Ballers arrived. Then it
became the flip cup room, as usual.
--Got Balls brought letter and number stickers and put funny
nicknames on their shoulders.
--Here for the Beer flipped the hell out of the Ugly Mug's
helpless little cups.
--Afternoon Delight and Seconds from Disaster must be having
a romantic tryst somewhere. Clearly, though, NOT AT THE UGLY
MUG.
--The Big Kids and Team Lush continue to be the teams who
stay the latest, loudest, and longest on Thursday nights.
--Impressive turnout by Your Mom's Team at the bar last
night.
Okay friends, this has turned into a phone book, so let's
call it a week. Get back
to work, SLACKER! Have a great weekend and we'll see you
back on the Fields of Glory next week!
Questions? Comments? Unspeakable outrage? jp@ctam.com
or AIM: jaypea99
John "JP" Powers
Co-Captain, Big Kids
President, Capital Conference
DCKickball
***That
Was The Week That Was Week Cinco***
|
