That Was The Week That Was Week 6
DCKickball Capital Conference
June 16, 2006

If this column sucks ... it's not my fault. I'm too dizzy from this incredible World Cup!

Good morning Capital, and WELCOME to the "why is there a plastic bone on that statue" edition of That Was The Week That Was. Another week, another set of stunning games on the Fields of Glory, clearly we have several teams who are hitting full stride as we make the final turn into the homestretch for this season, and a couple of intriguing story lines developing. It's been a great season so far, and there's still much more to come!


Okay, let's get right to the good stuff. THIS WEEK'S RESULTS:

Seconds from Disaster 6, Red Rovers 0
Big Kids 4, Lunchbox KC 1
Team Lush (f) over YTBD
Your Mom's Team 5, Recess Appts. 1
Bad News Barristers 0, DC Detention 0
Here for the Beer (f) over Got Balls
Thick Femur 16, Afternoon Delight 2
Kickass Ballers 8, AA-Team 2


Which makes THE STANDINGS look like this:

Big Kids 6 0 0
Lunchbox KC 5 1 0
Kick-Ass Ballers 5 1 0
Thick Femur 4 2 0
Seconds From Disaster 4 2 0
DC Detention 3 1 2
Your Mom's Team 3 2 1
Team Lush 3 3 0
AA-Team 3 3 0
Yet To Be Determined 3 3 0
Bad News Barristers 2 3 1
Here for the Beer 2 4 0
Afternoon Delight 2 4 0
Recess Appointments 1 5 0
Red Rovers 0 6 0
Got Balls 0 6 0

Expanded standings can be found here: http://dckickball.org/capital/standings.htm



 BEFORE WE GET STARTED, LET'S GET SERIOUS FOR JUST A SECOND

The last three weeks have seen a surprising number of arguments in the flip cup room, for various reasons of varying validity.

Folks, let's get a little perspective here. Everyone wants to play, and there's not a lot of room back there, so people have got to learn to rotate in and out of that room a lot better from here on out. If you lose, you need to sit out if there's another team waiting to go.

Maybe it's because I'm old school, but I have always considered drinking games of any kind to be bonding experiences and a great way to meet people. Save your competitive spirit for the Fields of Glory, where there's more room. If things don't ease up back there right freaking quick, then we are going to need to pull the plug on flip cup altogether. Let's not let that happen, okay? Got it? Awesome.

Thanks for your patience, now back to TWTWTW.


HAVE YOU CLEARED YOUR CALENDARS YET?

SATURDAY, JUNE 24, Union Pub. Don't miss the first annual DISCO FEVER AND FUNKY CHICKEN DANCING CONTEST starting at 10pm.

A $10 cover gets you three hours of open bar and all the kickball hotties you can stand. How can you go wrong?

 Union Pub is located at 201 Massachusetts Avenue NE, a short walk from Union Station and very easy to get to. Please use public transportation, this is an open bar event, people!



GAME OF THE WEEK
I bet Scott thinks I'm gonna put the Big Kids in here again. Nah, not this time out. But stay tuned.

As we all know, defense wins championships! Let's raise a glass to the BAD NEWS BARRISTERS and DC DETENTION, who hammered out the season's first nil-nil draw (that's World Cup speak for a 0-0- tie) over on field B. There were great plays all over the place as neither team blinked until the dust settled. Well done to both teams!



 PLAY OF THE WEEK

Since we're already talking about BNB-DCD, we have to cite the Barristers' thrilling two-man pinballing combination catch in right field Wednesday night. see, MICHAEL came in to make the catch, it bounced off of him, and then it hit STEPHEN, who bobbled it in the air, then it went back to Michael... oh heck, let's just make an illustration to describe it...

Got it? Great. Back to TWTWTW.



TEAM OF THE WEEK

Okay, it's time for a little shameless self-promotion. My beloved BIG KIDS squeaked past undefeated Lunchbox last night and for the first time in their nine-year history, they sit alone in first place at the top of the conference. Chances are if you were in the same ZIP code as the Ugly Mug last night, you heard them talking / singing / chanting about it. Congratulations Kids, but don't get cocky, there's still a long way to go here!

HA FREAKING HA, SCOTT!



"LADIES GOT BASES" OF THE WEEK

Two lady first basepeople, MARGUERITE from DCD and EMILY from Your Mom's Team, played first base for their respective teams this week and made great play after great play. Congrats for all your hard work ladies!



"I DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW" OF THE WEEK, PART 1

AFTERNOON DELIGHT played a rousing game of Ring Around the Rosie before kicking their game off this week.

No one knows why.



"I DON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW" OF THE WEEK, PART 2

The Ugly Mug bore witness to an amazing three-team dance-off on Wednesday night. Needless to say, Afternoon Delight was involved. The other combatants were DC Detention and Thick Femur, and there was an attempt to get Here for the Beer involved as well. This could be scary come midseason party time.



"HASTA LA PORKA" OF THE WEEK

The Capital Conference is sad for ourselves and excited for the man, as we bid longtime kickball veteran THE MIGHTY PORKCHOP a fond farewell as he's moving to New Orleans to clean up brass instrument spittle for a living. Chop has been a staple of kickball Thursday nights for six years and his drinking behavior has helped many a bartender save for retirement. Live long and prosper, Chop, and we'll see you at Jazz Fest.



"YOU ARE ALL PUTTY IN MY HANDS" OF THE WEEK

Well well well, look who actually made a visit to the bar this week! After weeks and weeks of TWTWTW nagging (That Was The Nagging That Was This Week?) we extend a welcome to you, SECONDS FROM DISASTER. It was nice to see the crazy daisies in the bar, and they have promised to make up for all the lost time the past few weeks. And WOW, did they make a statement last night, flipping cups and causing general mayhem. Their secret weapons? "Jersey girls." Oh man, NOW we're in trouble.



QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Speaking of SFD...

We don't know SFD's pitcher's name. We think it might be STEE because he yells it every time he throws a pitch. Anyway, last night, he was so happy to be at the Mug that he declared "there a lot of love in this bar."

An unnamed BIG KID replied: "yeah, love handles."



"YOU'RE PAYING FOR THE END OF SEASON PARTY OR WE'LL POST THE VIDEO ON THE WEB SITE" OF THE WEEK

Talk about a new definition for "get a room!" Wednesday night was clearly a night to be remembered. A full moon in the sky, the pulsating beat from the DJ, the crystalline glow of high definition televisions throughout the Ugly Mug... it was a night for love. Well, two kickballers decided to (how shall we put this) take the romance to an entirely new level late Wednesday in a secluded corner of the bar. How do we know this? The bar told us.

Two words we all need to know at the Ugly Mug. Surveillance cameras.

We at TWTWTW headquarters encourage dalliances wherever we can, but we recommend DISCRETION to our kickball friends. We'll leave it at that.

Don't write me to ask who they were, what team they play for, or even WHERE they were. I'm not going to tell you. Unless they DON'T leave $10,000 in unmarked non-sequential bills in a gym bag at Union Station between now and Sunday night OH I'M JUST KIDDING!



JOE CALLAHAN OF HERE FOR THE BEER AND AMY THEK OF DC DETENTION WOULD LIKE YOU TO KNOW

That Here for the Beer captain LAUREN left VERY early Wednesday night... AND DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE!



WORLD CUP WATCHING VENUE OF THE WEEK

Make The Ugly Mug you World Cup headquarters! Opening at 9:00 a.m. during the tournament, all games will be televised on our plasma televisions. Brunch will be served and we will have daily food and drink specials. Call 202-547-UGLY for additional information.



CRYSTAL PITCHER UPDATE

Okay, the team or teams represented by the story above WOULD make a great contribution to the Crystal Pitcher Update, but I digress...

See aforementioned remarks for praise for SFD

--TEAM LUSH showed up to the bar in impressive numbers despite not playing a game Thursday night.

--The KICK ASS BALLERS made a very impressive showing of their own, and flipped cups all night long.

--THE BIG KIDS shared the last-team-in-the-bar status with Lush last night.

--See above for SECONDS FROM DISASTER and the dance-off combatants.

--DC DETENTION, blah blah, lots of people, blah.

--I don't mention the impressive numbers for YOUR MOM'S TEAM nearly enough in this space, but they've been excellent all year.

--Same with the BAD NEWS BARRISTERS.


Is this long enough yet? Yes, I think it is. Get back to work, SLACKER! Have a great weekend and we'll see you back on the Fields of Glory next week!

Questions? Comments? Unspeakable outrage? jp@ctam.com or AIM: jaypea99

 John "JP" Powers
Co-Captain, Big Kids
President, Capital Conference
DCKickball

***That Was The Week That Was Week VI***