That Was The Week That Was Week 9

See the bracket here (sorry, it's a Word Document, I'm doing this from home and my PDF writer isn't working: http://dckickball.org/capital/bracket06.doc

The games played this week went a long way toward aligning the stars the right way for most of the teams next week to play on their usual nights. There are some exceptions, however, so please take a close look at things here:

WEDNESDAY, JULY 23
Thick Femur vs. Afternoon Delight
Kickass Ballers vs. Bad News Barristers
YTBD vs. Seconds from Disaster
DC Detention vs. AA-Team

THURSDAY, JULY 24
Big Kids vs. Got Balls
Lunchbox KC vs. Recess Appointments
Your Mom's Team vs. Here for the Beer
Team Lush vs. Red Rovers 

GAME TIMES will be determined over the weekend and released Monday. 


REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEMATCH!

Seven of the eight games next week will be rematches of regular season contests. How did the first games go?

Thick Femur 16, Afternoon Delight 2
Kickass Ballers 2, Bad News Barristers 1
YTBD 5, Seconds from Disaster 4
DC Detention 10, AA-Team 2
Lunchbox KC 3, Recess Appointments 0
Your Mom's Team 7, Here for the Beer 0
Team Lush 5, Red Rovers 5


CH-CH-CH-CH-CHANGES

Playoff kickball means a couple of things to keep in mind: 

(1) The coin flip goes away for the season. The higher-seeded team gets to choose home or away for every game.

(2) (and this is the big one) All teams must be full, real, legal teams - at least eight players, at least four men, and at least four women (I'm looking at YOU, AA-Team!). NO EXCEPTIONS!

Got it? Great! Let's keep going here.


THREE HOT TEAMS GOING INTO THE PLAYOFFS

YOUR MOM'S TEAM and THICK FEMUR are each riding four-game winning streaks going into the second season and look to be peaking at just the right time. Femur have outscored their opponents 39-7 in their streak; The Mommas 25-9 in theirs. And lookee here, the RED ROVERS have a three-game unbeaten streak of their own, including last night's stirring win, and suddenly look like that dangerous 12 seed that we all like to bet on in our NCAA pools.


THREE COLD TEAMS GOING INTO THE PLAYOFFS

The KICKASS BALLERS were in a tie for second place about a month ago, but a two-game losing streak has dropped them to sixth. After a simmering start, AFTERNOON DELIGHT have lost five in a row and continue to fight to get players to show up. HERE FOR THE BEER have lost five of their last six, and the one win was a forfeit.

Okay, enough with the look ahead for now, let's get to this week in review!


GAME OF THE WEEK

The RED ROVERS slugged my beloved BIG KIDS in the mouth last night, scrapping their way to a 3-0 first inning lead, then pounding a three-run homer in the fourth to extend it to 6-0. The Big Kids put three on in the bottom of the last, and even had two on base and the tying run at the plate, but solid Rover defense made sure they ran out of outs. Kudos to the Rovers for their outstanding performance.

Jerks.

Honorable mention goes to the THICK FEMUR-BAD NEWS BARRISTERS contest, which was nip and tuck until Femur extended their lead in the last inning.


TEAM OF THE WEEK

Very quietly, TEAM LUSH have been sneaking up the standings in the second half of the season, and with their win last night, they finished 5-3-1 and with their highest-ever ranking (fifth) in nine years of kickball. a four-game unbeaten streak will be put on the line in a playoff matchup against the Rovers next week that suddenly looks really interesting.


"WHA-WHA HAPPEN" OF THE WEEK

For just the second time in the history of adult kickball, we had to call a double forfeit on Wednesday night, as neither the Kickass Ballers (not enough women) nor Got Balls (four players) could field a team. Here's to hoping their fortunes change come next week when the games really count!


"WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE" OF THE WEEK

This has been, by several accounts, not a fun couple of weeks to be an umpire in the Capital Conference. Yes, we all get competitive, yes, that's why this league is a bit of an acquired taste, but I think we could all use a little reminder that our umpires are all volunteers and have feelings too. Can we go a little easier on them, please? Especially considering that most of the complainers have never volunteered to officiate a game? Awesome. Thanks!


QUOTE OF THE WEEK

No one really knows why the Big Kids' JAKE was drinking an 8-ouncer of white zinfandel on the field last night. We figure he lost a bet or something. But when he offered some to Team Lush's DARRYL, he recoiled and screams "get that away from me! It's like Kryptonite!"

Also, in a total non sequitur, the writer of this column overheard a conversation and said "South Dakota is better than North Dakota? Isn't that like saying dying in a nursing home is better than dying in an emergency room?"

Thank you, thank you, try the veal, tip your servers.


WEIRD PLAY OF THE WEEK

Bottom of the last inning, the Big Kids have the bases loaded and EJ slams a ball into left field for a single, scoring two runs. But was it a fair ball? Foul ball? It took a couple of minutes to discuss (and a look through a rule book) to determine that it was foul. No runs score, runners back on base. Next pitch, EJ slams the ball into left field for a single, Big Kids score two runs.


CRYSTAL PITCHER UPDATE

I wasn't there to see it, but I'm sure DC DETENTION took over the Ugly Mug on Wednesday night, seeing as how they do it every week. Last night, the Mug was packed to the rafters with sweaty kickballers, the noisiest of which were the RED ROVERS and SECONDS FROM DISASTER. I would give points to certain teams for coming out in great numbers, but damn, all eight teams playing last night came out in great numbers. Well done everyone!

CAPTAINS, look for your chance to vote for the Crystal Pitcher in the next week or so. YOU will decide the second most prestigious trophy that kickball has to offer, so start putting your thinking caps on!


CLASSIFIED AD OF THE WEEK

We finally got one!

CONDO FOR SALE
Unique corner patio unit in very secluded area of historic Parkfairfax. Two entrances, extra storage, separate indoor bike storage, beautiful landscaping, lots of swimming pools to chose from. Easy access to 395, Old Town, and Shirlington. Larger unit, with washer/dryer, dehumidfier, and lots of in-unit storage. Most comparable units in area are going for $310,000 and higher - will take $290,000 for this great unit! Contact Beth from Team Lush at bvanemburgh@hotmail.com with questions or interest.

Okay, let's call this a week. Get back to work, SLACKER! Have a great weekend and we'll see you back on the Fields of PLAYOFF Glory next week!

Questions? Comments? Unspeakable outrage? jp@ctam.com or AIM: jaypea99

John "JP" Powers
Co-Captain, Big Kids
President, Capital Conference
DCKickball

***That Was The Week That Was Week Nonagon***